i need sleep.
This year I'm going to be much busier. Monday and Wednesday NCC training, Tuesday tribune, Thursday math tuition (or else on sunday) Friday math remedial. My thursdays are the only free days I'm getting this year and its not fixed cos tuition is either on sunday or thursdays. I know I shouldn't be complaining cos there are lots other people who train every single day and still cope perfectly well. Unfortunately my time management skills are in dire need of repair. I've been sleeping real late this year but i dont feel like i've been spending my time productively. And the next day i suffer the dire consequences, which include what happened today. I forgot to wear my house t shirt. And i have a feeling things are gonna continue spiralling downwards. Here's a list of stuff i need:

1. better time management
2. organisational skills
3. sense of urgency = no procrastination
4. sleep

i shall sleep at latest 11.30 from now on. and thats only 6 1/2 hours. which means i have been surviving on less than that for the past week. oh man.

shall stop reflecting

today, went out for lunch with kristie and huiyi. we went to heeren to eat wanton mee. kristie wong was being ano so huiyi and i bought her share anyway and she had no choice but to eat. I haven't eaten with them for ages and ages. we spent like 2 hours talking about a lot of stuff. Like what would be the best way to die. Huiyi and I agreed that stuffing ourselves with sleeping pills would be the most painless way to die. Kristie said though, that if we failed in our attempt we would have kidney failure. And we wanted also, to die in a painless and glam fashion. Sleeping pills would result in bai mo, that white stuff that dribbles out of the mouth. Hence, not exactly a pretty way to die. But its good enough. at least there wont be blood all over the place like when you slit your wrists. It is kinda morbid thinking about stuff like that but everyone does think of death at some point or other right? Its a reality you have to face some day and in this case, the rationale is that if you can choose to die, which would be the best way to die. There are these times when I think death sounds a much more appealing option as compared to stressful, fast-paced, tiring, painful life. A lot of people do. But nobody really has the courage to kill themselves. Its when they dare to that it turns into a serious problem. I think the whole attractiveness of death lies in the notion that a heaven exists, or rather, that one will be granted peace and happiness after death. Will anyone still commit suicide if one day, it is proven that death simply means ceasing to exist, and not as a transition into peace? Frankly, one of the things i always keep in mind: How will I know that death will lead me to a better place? For all you know, afterlife could be a hundred times worse.

I shall stop musing about death and stop this post right here.