its only march. i'm already sick and tired. this year has been a real drag to me emotionally. maybe its just me. i need to be stronger.
enough ranting.

went back to school to help out at house prac. picked huiyi up (late, and still) made it to school 15 mins early. we helped make nice little souvenirs. they were these little pendants that were actually yellow mosaic tiles with yellow beads stuck on them. and there were like raindrops, snowflakes and autumn leaves punched from paper stuck to it. anyway, our job was to stick the beads onto the tiles with superglue. we finished pretty fast, then stoned and ate chips for the rest of the three hours. our fingertips were coated with uglyfying dried superglue which ate into our skin. ugh. then huiyi sent me back, well actually before that we picked up her brother then ate lunch.

going for tuition later, then straight to the restaurant where we are celebrating my grandma's birthday. hence, will be wearing slightly nicer clothes, which will feel strange as i'm wearing these to tuition which i normally dont do.

i love my grandparents
happy birthday grandma!
(even though she probably wont ever see this)


i miss frique so much.

don't know what's happening to me.
don't know what i'm crying about.
don't know why its so messed up these days.

i really really miss you all.


tag replies
bobo: haha i am AMAZED at my ability to transform you for the better (:
marge: you DID see a happy me no? you don't friend me, then i don't friend you also ah!
both wths: .
leech: okay leech, i am embarking on my new quest to look pretty by smiling (: (: (:

today was a hundred times better than yesterday. am not going to talk about yesterday.
we gave jiaying her present today, and embarrassed her hugely by singing her birthday song in the middle of the canteen. haha we didnt manage our initial plan cos looklook was away for competition. arg. TIS OKAY. we will surprise her tomorrow morning.


HAPPY BIRTHDAY APPLE WEN JIAYING! NO WE DID NOT FORGET. BETCHA THOUGHT WE DID. HAPPY BELATED BY A LOT BIRTHDAY SYLVIA CHEEKOPEK LOOK!

guess what. i frickin posted the above private and personal information on the ncc air blog by accident. SO YOU TWO BETTER TREASURE THIS. haha


kampong glam was. ohwell. not so interesting. but it was quite funny cos of the presence of the backseat gang. mainly, marge, nandi, natgoh and natkim. we were like talking in accents all the way back to school.

ten reasons why i hate being alive at this moment

1. i hate math and i have a math test tomorrow
2. i have math tuition which means i have no reason to score badly
3. i hope my mum's fine
4. i already miss my mum
5. my dad is. argh. let's just say he wouldn't make a good housewife
6. i need to wake up without my human alarm clock tomorrow
7. i should be revising math but i can't concentrate and i'm probably failing anyway
8. i am feeling depressed due to above listed reasons
9. it is not good to feel depressed before a test
10. life sucks. like a vacuum cleaner.


its today. late afternoon. and i fricking will be in kampong glam. i think i'm worried than her. i'll be praying. i dont wanna go to kampong glam. argh.


FOR BOBO
(cos it makes her feel honoured)

dearest bonian,
[i shall say what i am required to say first]
thank you for your wonderful, nice, funny tag
(note: i feel rather hypocritical)

bo^2! i havent seen her since she left for faraway vietnam for OSL, but apparantly the whole of vietnam has since she appeared on viet national tv for like, about 3 seconds. hahaha.

Look away and breathe says:
NEXT TIME I GO VIETNAM DEN CAN U IMAGINE PPL ALL POINTING AT ME
miranda&cheese pratas says:
no
Look away and breathe says:
SHES A STAR
Look away and breathe says:
WOW
miranda&cheese pratas says:
wont happen
Look away and breathe says:
SHUT UP SO SAO XING
miranda&cheese pratas says:
nope
Look away and breathe says:
SHUT UP
miranda&cheese pratas says:
wont happen
Look away and breathe says:
SHUT UP

hahaha oh, bobo.
okay you are really hilarious. you do silly stuff and and weird stuff and dumb stuff and crazy stuff but that's what we all love about you (: yes, all of your takuya-loving, clumsy, funny, silly, blur, 'uh! whatever!-ness'. hahaha and we noticed a high lack of boboness in the atmosphere this learning journey week. haha see how much you impacted us. bobo has like officially become a noun, verb, adjective bla bla.
eg. she was so bobo la! or stop bobo-ing!

keep feeling honoured (: i won't stop you.


tag replies
wth > dear wth, very insightful comment. thank you so much for tagging.
marge > we do not need to be bothered by dumbarses do we? its okay nerds are cute. sometimes. at least nerds are smart. losers are just, well, losers (: and yah i forgot the rj girls.
jean> I MISS YOU TOO. i have not seen you since like, the prehistoric era. OH GOSH.
bonian> who wants her tag answered in a seperate post, which will be posted at a later time.

LJ week has been rather okay.
heritage trail was pretty cool except i was feeling rather woozy that day. like really cold and sleepy and aching all over and grumpy. supreme court was the best. i might consider being a lawyer after all. that place is so awesomely grand and professional and TRANSPARENT (the guide emphasized the transparency a lot) and has a nice view from the top. then i went out with marge and nandi. we took fabulous neos. which i have to scan into the comp sometime. then i met up with my dad and mum who were in orchard for my mum's check up at mount e. took a bus home with my mum and was shivering crazily throughout the whole ride. by the time i got home i was pretty delirious and running a fever. slept through the day, then talked to eenette at night, and found out we felt the SAME THING throughout the whole day. and we both attributed the body aches to cca. apparantly we were wrong. we must be like psychic or something since there cant be any way we came into contact with each other to pass the virus or whatever it was on.
bio field trip was FAB :D we trudged around lower pierce reservoir for quite a bit then when we finally got out of the boardwalk we were thirsty tired and oh so hungry. and then we went to casuarina curry and ate prata :D our table ordered like 2 pratas each. we later realised how deluded this was as the pratas were HUGE. like huge rectangles of yummy pratas. but still huge. i absolutely love cheese. but i love cheese pratas more. i am positively glad that they conveniently forgot my plain prata order. i cant believe we ordered a medium sized mutton murtabak too. i was very helpfully encouraging everyone to finish up their second prata and eat the murtabak cos well, i didnt have a second prata after all :D

i think lj week last year cemented a lot of friendships.


BOOK OF TALES

ATTENTION ALL FEMALE RAFFLESIANS. okay i might as well say all RGS girls.
everyone, please visit HERE for a interhouse activity option. JOIN THE TRIBUNE INTERHOUSE COMPETITION.

CLICK ON ME

if you dont want to join then grab people who love writing fanfic or love writing narratives or simply love writing and are pretty darn good at it, at MAKE THEM JOIN.

YAY this is an exciting interesting activity and i really hope it succeeds!

EVERYONE PLEASE JOIN I WOULD JOIN IF I AM NOT IN TRIBUNE


TRIBUNE
i am so proud of all of us. we are sticking pretty nicely to the schedule. The past week has practically been almost all Tribune for me. Part and parcel of being an editor i guess. Hard work, but i'm lovin' it. Well, in a way. Its nice to know that things are in your hands and people like me work under pressure. and its nice to feel the accomplishment after you get stuff done. We have, to date, uploaded all articles to yahoogroops. everythings done except for some layout problems. I WANT ADOBE. then i will be able to change the damn article into jpg format. arghhhhhh.
ONE MORE ARTICLE DAMMIT THEN WE'RE DONE.

oh my gosh. i cant believe its saturday. i hate myself for wasting so much time. i need to PRIORITISE seriously. and i havent practised math this holiday and math is in week two. ARGH. and i have HOMEWORK dammit.
arghhhhh. its TWILIGHT's and NEW MOON's and ECLIPSE's fault. THEY ARE TOO ADDICTIVE. argh thats how i get over books. argh argh argh. i hate myself for wasting time. it's time to stop making empty promises to yourself, miranda.


i am officially obsessed with and addicted to the twilight series. i know i am extremely slow but better late than never right?
am now 3/4 through eclipse and its unputdownable i read from like 8 to 1 yesterday and my dad literally yanked the book out of my hands and shoved me onto my bed. ohwell. guess what i dreamt of. surprise surprise i dreamt that bella swan and edward cullen are my classmates. sobs. never coming true.
have just read until the part where edward proposed to bella and i can't help smiling stupidly to myself.
jacob black is highly irritating at this point. i started off really cannot-standing him in twilight cos he was like this irritating innocent little awkward twerp. Then in New Moon he became real nice and he was so nice to bella, and made me feel guilty for him cos bella is kindof making use of him? but still missed edward a lot. surprisingly though, it wasnt that boring without edward cos of jacob, and i was seriously starting to like him. like 'oh the poor guy, he should be quite hot by now eh whats with the wolfish growth spurt'. but now. in eclipse, edward's back and NOTHING COMPARES. hmph. he should really back off. and REMAIN a friend. how DARE he kiss bella. THAT was the breaking point for me. ugh. so irritating and ARGH. like just VANISH! and he keeps calling the Cullens bloodsuckers. SO IRRITATING. dont know why bella's still so dependant on him. ugh.
i cant wait for the movie though Robert Pattinson is so ugh ):
stephenie meyer's choice was Henry Cavill but he's too old. actually i think tom sturridge or henry cavill or gaspard ulliel all would be better. ugh. but make-up does wonders. there MAY be hope.
her choice for bella was emily browning but there's something about her i dont like. a little too dollish maybe. Kristen stewart is perfect for bella. shes so bella-ish! not over the top pretty, subdued but still beatiful.

i will be back for more twilight obsession.


HAPPY BELATED BY ONE DAY BIRTHDAY TO PINGTING!
i am thoroughly sorry for not wishing you happy birthday yesterday :P
anyway, happy fifteenth and enjoy being fifteen!



i need to stop falling asleep in class.
seriously.
i havent had this problem since ages ago and i don't know why its happening again this year. it sucks. and its not like i'm sleeping later than usual. i mean, 11 to 12 plus has been like normal bedtime for me since sec one or two?
i really dont know whats wrong with me. the worst thing is i dont even realise that im falling asleep. until i hear the teacher go "MIRANDA WAKE UP"
its irritating for the both the teacher and me and highly stressing and embarrasing for me. ARGH. i shall sleep at 10.30 today (not likely). this bedtime has been far from my reach and i cant remember the last time i slept at 10.30. i'll give it a try if i finish ss revision + overdue yi lun wen + jian bao by then. GRAH. i only have one and a half hours. shit.

did i mention that stats suck?
well they suck big time.


am currently obsessing over this song
Before He Cheats
Carrie Underwood

And he don't know
That I dug my key into the side of his pretty little souped up 4 wheel drive,
carved my name into his leather seats
I took a Louisville slugger to both headlights,
slashed a hole in all 4 tires

Maybe next time he'll think before he cheats.
I might've saved a little trouble for the next girl,
Cause the next time that he cheats...
Oh, you know it won't be on me!


i have made a discovery about myself. i actually have perfectionism in me and am little LITTLE bit of a control freak. with regards to certain things only of course.
two incidents in the past two days to illustrate my point:
1. decorating tribune board
we decided on a black and white checked background, stapling the paper on the board. UNFORTUNATELY. the paper wasnt perfectly covering the entire board and there was this whole line of green felt at the top peeking out. i dont know why but i really couldnt stand it. hahaha. everyone was like ITS OKAY nobody's gonna look all the way to the top! but. i just went ahead and cut the paper into smaller strips to cover the green part. and i felt better. heh. and julia was like. 'uh, miranda, are you a perfectionist?' and i kinda thought to myself, yeah, what the hell is my problem! and i replied YES I AM SORRY. hah. and to think i never realised it.
2. today during history we had to come up with positive and negative effects of scientific revolution and marge wrote positive and negative on two sides of the paper. i SUBCONSCIOUSLY went: eh the size of the 'negative' is a little smaller than the 'positive' eh. and proceeded to use my fingers to MEASURE THE SIZE OF THE LETTERS. ohwell. marge was like 'whatever! you perfectionist la!' and i was thinking to myself that i have heard it like the second time in two days. And natkim was like 'ohno miranda! are you bulimic or anorexic!'. haha oh well.

oh well on second thoughts, it probably isnt so surprising. i actually do like arranging thing in a certain order cos it gives me a sense of security and calmness? i arrange really random stuff when i'm free and bored. like stickers (in primary school la). i used to make sure that all the stickers are aligned exactly the same way they were on the plastic sheet when freshly bought. i arrange my files on my computer to the very last detail. i hate having documents straying in a file with other files in it. hard to explain but its complicated ysee. i arrange music according to english chinese korean jap classical traditional etc, then by artistes with full albums, then the stray songs go into the 'various' folder where they will be categorized further into artiste, genre etc or by date. Photos are even worse. theres 'from camera', celebs (like celeb photos from the net), random photos and other weird things that i get from the net. then under 'from camera' theres rgs, mbs, family gatherings, overseas trips so on so forth, and they are each categorized further into specific occasions like RHD'o7 CNY'08. now you know why i absolutely absolutely hate it when my computer breaks down and my documents are all over the place. i cant be at peace with myself until i get everything in order again. unfortunately i dont have the same kind of motivation to pack my room or my school files. wonder why. oh well yknow my mum arranges her clothes according to colour, type, occasion so on and so forth. blame it on the genes.

perfectionism gives my life order.

OKAY. i am officially a perfectionist. i just went to re read my post and realised that i missed out an 's' so i came back to add it in then i went homg whatamidoing. hill hairy ous.


i don't know where to start.
i was tearing a little just now but this time it isn't cos i'm sad or angry. i'm touched. and i really am very happy cos i realised that there are people around me who really care about me. i feel really really touched.

to everyone out there who was worried about me or who cared that i was feeling down some time ago, thank you and i'm feeling fine now. i guess everyone goes through bad times and its through these that you realise the people around you who care enough.

ilovethreetensomuch

imissfriquesomuchtoo


to spade: i know you kindof miaed for a period of time but dont worry you are always a part of us and i dont think its late and we all missed you and thankyousomuch for caring. dont worry i'm fine.


CHENG LIQI IS MY SAVIOR!!!!!!
THANK YOU DEAR I KNOW THE STUPID FALLACY BIBLE IS SUPER THICK AND YOU ACTUALLY ARE HELPING ME SCAN HENCE I AM ETERNALLY GRATEFUL TO YOU AND I SWEAR NEVER TO DISPLAY STUPID ACTS OF PURE STUPIDITY LIKE FORGETTING MY FILE EVER AGAIN. THANK YOU SO MUCH AND I LOVE YOU!


yesterday was tumultous. it was a crazy whirlwind of emotions for me. i finally understand what they say about not cherishing those around you until you know you're going to lose them. i don't really know what to say cos its so hard to put it into words. i'm so scared of losing my mum. but i know and i believe she'll be fine. what we're all worried about now is probably the fees. And as for my cousin, i really hope she's better now. looking at her twisted frame lying on the hospital bed, the tears at the corners of her shut eyes, the pain in her frown. it made me hurt.
its all happening at the same time and i can't do a single thing.

thanks to huiyi who was the listening ear i needed, and who gave me comfort and assurance when i needed it most. i cant tell you how much it meant to me. thanks to eenette who cared enough to call me back once she had the chance to, and who tried to help. Thanks also to marge who gave me encouragement and is helping me with philo.

it really means a lot to me that you guys are there with me. and i'm gonna get through this as best and as strongly as i can.