julian says:
eh youvery long nvr update your blog
miranda; butterfly-delicate says:
yeah i knowwww
too lazy
okay okay RIGHT NOW I'll go update it
before i change my mind

YEAH so here I am

julian says:
its so gothic
miranda; butterfly-delicate says:
WHAT is
julian says:
your post
miranda; butterfly-delicate says:
in what way
julian says:
elements of the gothic
haha
did that for frankenstein
uh word usage and tone

WEIRD. No it is not gothic.

Anyway, the whole primary school remembrance thing is really amusing. Just checked some fb profiles. Funny how fb lets people see other people's lives from a distance isn't it? Like Mr ng would say, it's for busy bodies. (like me, oops) Well, noticed that many have changed (how we look), some haven't (like Liqi and Vivien). Hope we finally do get a decent gathering with high attendance rate. Would be nice to catch up.

Oh well que sera sera.


Mid-term Moodswings

Okay, so we've finally arrived at the June Holidays.
And strangely, I feel no elation but rather this overwhelming impending sense of doom.
I know if I don't make full use of this holiday to catch up, I'm one very dead piece of well done steak.

Sometimes I think I have no motivation in life. I even find myself questioning. Again and again. Why? Why why why?
The answer is pretty clear. To survive.

I am not in a holiday mood, which is probably a good thing so I'll transit back to term 3 pretty easily. I find my brain at odds with my body very often. My brain will be frantically sending signals to get my butt down on at my study table and, well, study, while my physical being will very conveniently and helpfully feel compelled to get distracted and/or feel tired.


MBS Memories

It started with that note. Then the photos. And the mass convo (WHICH I MISSED DAMMIT). Somehow I wish I could go back to those significantly more carefree days. I wonder how I'd have lived my life if I knew what to expect in Sec School. I would have cchanged, no doubt.

In fact, I think I have, since primary school. Used to be the nice little girl who was kinda more quiet I went through the noisy phase in sec 1 and 2 when it was practically impossible to shut me and my laughing mouth up. Now, I've mellowed. I can tell.


Sigh I'm so freaking tired.





It's been so long. Since I last blogged, I mean. I felt a sudden, intense need to blog and so here I am.

It's strange, really, how people and their words linger with you even after they're gone. I don't mean gone gone but more like physically not with you.

It has been a pretty messy and hectic year. But that's no excuse for how I've been dealing with the 'baton of leadership' passed to me since the start of the year. I can feel myself slowly doing what rokhini specifically told me not to do - die out. Maybe it's the SAs, maybe it's everything else in my mind and my life that has pushed tribune to one notch of importance lower than it used to be. Maybe it was the stress that took the passion out of it or maybe, maybe, ohdear, it's the fire that's dying out, which I absolutely cannot condone. In any case, I felt like I really needed some advice and motivation and my instinct was to read rokhini's gift-to-the-chairs letter.

I'm really glad I did. I can now relate to what she says in ways I completely couldn't last year. It's hard to put it in words but it was exactly what I needed. Some parts, especially, made me realise what I haven't been doing and what I cannot do. Like die. Or what she sometimes refers to as losing my 'qi'. In any case, I'm thankful she's with me still. Kinda.

Yes it sounds creepy but it isn't really. I'm really thankful for having great seniors who inspire through their words. Sincerely hope I'll be one.

back to history.

words that linger


Okay so life is getting worse and worse but SO WHAT.
I really should get used to it. I survived math-chem-lit, the killer exam combo and so I am a happier person now. Yes, I know, I have bio and SS on Monday still. BUT I SURVIVED THE KILLER COMBO. I feel invincible. Kinda. Since failing math (which I am 200% certain I did) really does dent the whole invincible image. Invincible people not only survive the exams see, they fly through it painted in vivid hues of the rainbow. Okay that was a very unsuccessful attempt at metaphorically describing "pass with flying colours".

Sigh. I'm tired.