I think I owe myself an end-of-2008 reflections post, and a start-of-2009-resolutions post. I think I really need to do this for closure.

I just never got down to doing it because 08 and 09 just seemed so conjoined. It still feels like I'm living in 2008, which might be a good thing actually, depending on the situation. This means that I won't have to spend time getting acclimatized to the new pace and demands of the year.

2008 has been my toughest year in RGS, no doubt about that. It has also been a year of personal growth for me, unfortunately limited to the spiritual and mental aspect, not the physical aspect. It has undoubtedly been the Year of Miranda's Worst Academic Achievements, something I am not particularly proud of, and somehting I fervently hope will stay true, meaning it will STAY the WORST ACADEMIC YEAR of my LIFE. Let's talk personal growth. I've learnt, to a certain extent, to accept that I am a very inadequate person in many senses of the word. I've been able to see that straight to my face, and I accept that. I've learnt that it doesn't really matter if a certain event or decision causes me a lot of pain. It will pass. And better things come along. Or rather I chose to focus and dedicate myself to another aspect of my life, and found it just as, if not more, rewarding and attainable. I've become more at peace with myself, I guess. Have I really? Hmm.

I've also gotten more in touch with the very legendary Leader In Me. I don't know for sure if what I am doing now is leading the cca, but I know I what I want my cca to be like and I can only hope that I am doing the necessary steps to ensure that. I used to be pretty bugged that people don't actually acknowledge tribune as a proper cca, or feel that it matters much at all. I used to lament that people don't know how much hard work goes behind publishing one issue (which still holds true). But I'm at peace with that now. So long as we benefit from our experience in the cca, and we take pride in the fact that we belong as a single entity, it really doesn't matter that much.

Ties that bind
I'm somewhat relieved and grateful that frique has managed to stay close. A large part of us anyway. Actually, I believe I mentioned at the end of last year that I KNEW we would make it. I won't say I told you so. With all due respect to my sec one classmates, I am so, so glad that they shuffled us around in sec 2. I can't imagine never meeting this group of people.
I'm also grateful for 310, for the wonderful people that make up this great class. I'm so glad my "yuan fen" with marge didn't stop in sec one and we somehow got to know each other all over again and became so much closer. I'm so glad nan is in my life, for all the laughter and fun she brings to us every school day.
It is probably very true that sec 3 brought our platoon closer, and I'm really happy for that. I'm almost thankful for everything we've been through together, especially the tough times. We're a group of really distinct personalities and I know we have bonded in a way that is highly unique to our platoon. I can't describe it but I know it's different. It's something along the lines of getting used to each other, then getting attached to each other, and eventually realising that you find each other endearing at times, no matter how much you deny it.
I'm glad that 2008 made so many people important in my life.

Looking forward
I'm not sure what to expect in 2009, but I want to proceed with an open mind, an open heart and steel guts. I know I'm gonna need a lot of determination and discipline and I willl make myself somehow.
I'm not gonna make resolutions for the sake of making them; that's pointless. But I do have a few requirements of myself I want to meet.

1. I want to be disciplined, in all aspects of my life, with greater emphasis on academics, specifically Math and Chem

2. I want to start reading my first Chinese novel. Or any Chinese publication in book form, actually. (Yes all my yue du bao gaos are derived from book summaries) I still can't understand how Pingting manages it but I'll try. No promises.

3. I am going to try to sleep before 12pm every day, motivation being extra pocket money that my dad has kindly offered. I will also, as a result, not sleep in class at all, no excuses even if the teacher is very boring.

4. I will try very hard lead Tribune to Greater Heights.

5. I will appreciate the people and things around me.

6. Last but not least, I will try to enjoy 2009.