I'm disillusioned. And I've turned cynical about this whole freaking system.

Who dictates whether someone has the right to crush everything others have tried so hard to produce.

What's the point, really.

I keep telling myself that it doesnt matter so long as we know we've done whatever we can. But it does, ultimately. I can't convince myself that it doesn't matter. When it feels like everything you've worked for the whole year has been stripped away, crushed and dismissed with a flippant "not up to it".

I've been trying to convince myself that it doesn't matter for too long. I don't think I can. And this is probably way overdue,because I thought this feeling would pass and I'd see the brighter side.

I haven't.